Taking Psychology with You

How to Attain Your Goals

What are your values? What would you most like to achieve and accomplish in your life? Love, wealth, security, passion, freedom, fame, the desire to improve the world, being the best in a sport or other skill? Something else? What are your short-term goals: Would you like to improve your love life? Get better grades? Enjoy school more? Lose weight? Become a better tennis player?

A whole world of motivational speakers, books, and DVDs offer inspiration, enthusiasm, and a few magic steps to change your life, but we hope that by now you will apply critical thinking to their promises. Enthusiastic inspiration is fine as far as it goes, but it usually doesn't transfer into helping you make real-life changes. In contrast, think about some of the lessons that you have learned in this chapter:

Seek activities that are intrinsically pleasurable. If you really, really want to study Swahili or Swedish even though these languages are not in your prelaw requirements, try to find a way to do it. As the great writer Ray Bradbury said at age 89, the secret to living to a grand old age is to “do what you love and love what you do.” Or take advice from 109-year-old Karam Chand, whom you met earlier in this chapter: “I've never held back from enjoying life.” If you are not enjoying your major or your job, consider finding a career that would be more intrinsically pleasurable, or at least make sure you have other projects and activities that you do enjoy for their own sake.
Focus on learning goals, not only on performance goals. In general, you will be better able to cope with setbacks if your goal is to learn rather than to show others how good you are. Regard failure as a chance to learn rather than as a sign of incompetence.
Assess your working conditions. Everyone has working conditions. Whether you are a student, a self-employed writer, or a homemaker, if your motivation and well-being are starting to wilt, check out your environment. Are you getting support from others? Do you have opportunities to develop ideas and vary your routine, or are you expected to do the same thing day after day? Are there barriers that might limit your advancement in your chosen field?
Take steps to resolve motivational conflicts. Are you torn between competing goals? For instance, are you unhappily stuck between the goal of achieving independence and a desire to be cared for by your parents? The reconciliation of conflicts like these is important for your well-being.

Most important, think critically about the goals you have chosen for yourself: Are they what you want to do or what someone else wants you to do? Do they reflect your values? If you are not happy with your body, your relationships, or your work, why not? Think about it.